“This just isn’t what I was expecting.”
“What were you expecting?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Then how do you know this was not it?”
12.31.2009
12.30.2009
12.29.2009
Dec 29
“I had a question about the theorem you were talking about. The one that defines the nature of electricity in its particle state?”
“Well,” said Fleinhart, nodding, “that is a difficult concept to grasp. I can understand how someone as young as you might find that challenging.” He walked over to the board and wrote out the theorem. “Now...”
“I think it’s wrong,” Charlie blurted out.
Fleinhart stopped, chalk poised over the blackboard and turned slowly.
“You think it’s wrong? You think a fundamental theorem of physics, which has been used for almost 70 years, is wrong?”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah. The math just doesn’t work out. I did some equations last night.”
He pulled out his notebook and flipped it open. Fleinhart took the notebook and began gingerly flipping through it. There were nearly 20 pages of notes, completely filling each page, front and back. His face seemed to implode slowly, page by page.
“So,” he finally said, “you decided to completely revolutionize modern physics last night. Just...” he shrugged.
“Well,” said Fleinhart, nodding, “that is a difficult concept to grasp. I can understand how someone as young as you might find that challenging.” He walked over to the board and wrote out the theorem. “Now...”
“I think it’s wrong,” Charlie blurted out.
Fleinhart stopped, chalk poised over the blackboard and turned slowly.
“You think it’s wrong? You think a fundamental theorem of physics, which has been used for almost 70 years, is wrong?”
Charlie nodded. “Yeah. The math just doesn’t work out. I did some equations last night.”
He pulled out his notebook and flipped it open. Fleinhart took the notebook and began gingerly flipping through it. There were nearly 20 pages of notes, completely filling each page, front and back. His face seemed to implode slowly, page by page.
“So,” he finally said, “you decided to completely revolutionize modern physics last night. Just...” he shrugged.
12.28.2009
Dec 28
“Jamie-boy, you have to stop setting yourself up for disappointment…wait a minute. She said yes?”
12.27.2009
12.26.2009
12.25.2009
Dec 25
“Here’s to you, and here’s to me. Friends forever we shall be...”
“And if we should ever disagree?” James prompted.
“Then...to Hell with you, here’s to me!” they both finished in chorus.
“And if we should ever disagree?” James prompted.
“Then...to Hell with you, here’s to me!” they both finished in chorus.
Dec 25
Of all the stupid, absurd, worthless things to drive a friendship apart! Betrayal? Yes. A woman? Perhaps. Bowling? Sirius felt his eye twitch.
12.24.2009
Dec 24
“Harold,” he announced with a small triumphant nod. “Oh, close your mouth before you swallow something. It’s a good name.”
Sirius feigned an injured look. “Harold?”
“My grandfather was a well-respected wizard,” James retorted with a defensive sniff.
“Harold, James...?” Sirius repeated, crestfallen. “The kids will tease him…I’ll tease him!”
“Sirius!”
“Ah, now there’s a name. It’s got a kind of dignified ring to it, don’t you agree? Sirius Potter...”
Sirius feigned an injured look. “Harold?”
“My grandfather was a well-respected wizard,” James retorted with a defensive sniff.
“Harold, James...?” Sirius repeated, crestfallen. “The kids will tease him…I’ll tease him!”
“Sirius!”
“Ah, now there’s a name. It’s got a kind of dignified ring to it, don’t you agree? Sirius Potter...”
Dec 24
“What’s your excuse?”
“Work’s kept me busy,” Sirius grunted dismissively.
“You don’t have a job.”
“...would you believe I’ve been looking for one?” he tried without much conviction.
“Work’s kept me busy,” Sirius grunted dismissively.
“You don’t have a job.”
“...would you believe I’ve been looking for one?” he tried without much conviction.
12.23.2009
Dec 23
“Hand me that wrench, would you Potter?”
“Which one’s the wrench?”
“It’s a...a wrench. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s got a little mouth on it that opens when you turn a little dial—”
“This one?” James asked hopefully, handing him an object.
“No, that’s a screwdriver—”
“This one?” James asked, holding out another choice.
“No,” Sirius gritted out in irritation, “that’s another screwdriver.”
“Which one’s the wrench?”
“It’s a...a wrench. I don’t know how else to explain it. It’s got a little mouth on it that opens when you turn a little dial—”
“This one?” James asked hopefully, handing him an object.
“No, that’s a screwdriver—”
“This one?” James asked, holding out another choice.
“No,” Sirius gritted out in irritation, “that’s another screwdriver.”
Dec 23
“Well?” Sirius prodded impatiently. “Was there?”
“Was there what?”
“Whipped cream, you dolt.”
“No, and there will never be whipped cream, so stop asking.”
“Well, if you would play your cards right, there would be whipped cream, but I’m fully cognizant of the fact that that’s impossible for you, so you’re probably right.”
“Oh, I played my cards just fine.” All three Marauders’s heads jerked up.
Sirius grinned and clapped James on the shoulder. “I see whipped cream in your future, my friend.”
“Was there what?”
“Whipped cream, you dolt.”
“No, and there will never be whipped cream, so stop asking.”
“Well, if you would play your cards right, there would be whipped cream, but I’m fully cognizant of the fact that that’s impossible for you, so you’re probably right.”
“Oh, I played my cards just fine.” All three Marauders’s heads jerked up.
Sirius grinned and clapped James on the shoulder. “I see whipped cream in your future, my friend.”
12.22.2009
Dec 22
“Wonder what they’re doing up there?” Sirius smirked and opened his mouth.
“Sirius, if what you’re about to say involves Lily and whipped cream, I’ll hex you.”
“What makes you think everything I say has to have some sort of sexual connotation?”
“Because it does?”
“I’ll have you know,” Sirius began in a very dignified voice, “that I am not just a veritable sex god. I am respectful and deep.”
“With that in mind, what were you just going to say?”
“I wonder if James thought to get cherries.”
“Respectful and deep, indeed.”
“Sirius, if what you’re about to say involves Lily and whipped cream, I’ll hex you.”
“What makes you think everything I say has to have some sort of sexual connotation?”
“Because it does?”
“I’ll have you know,” Sirius began in a very dignified voice, “that I am not just a veritable sex god. I am respectful and deep.”
“With that in mind, what were you just going to say?”
“I wonder if James thought to get cherries.”
“Respectful and deep, indeed.”
Dec 22
“Oh, shut up, Prongs; you’ll have a wedding.”
“I’m still not telling you.”
“In that case, you will die a lonely, lonely man with 67 cats.”
“I’m still not telling you.”
“In that case, you will die a lonely, lonely man with 67 cats.”
12.21.2009
Dec 21
‘Mr. Padfoot would like to offer a suggestion for Mr. Prongs’s Valentine’s Day date with Miss Lily.’
‘Do I want to hear this or should I just tell you to shove it in advance?’
‘It would most benefit you to listen.’
‘Does this plan involve chocolate covered strawberries, whipped cream, and a black lace teddy?’
‘It might.’
‘I don’t want to hear it. Or should I say read it?’
‘See what you did, Moony?! And you were wrong: the teddy was red, and there were no chocolate covered strawberries--there was, however, a heart-shaped hot tub... You know, to go with the whole Valentine’s Day theme?’
‘It’s something Lily would most certainly never agree to. I suggest that Mr. Prongs go the route of leading her into the Room of Requirement and having a dinner set up there or something.’
‘Well, that’s just stupid.’
‘I think it’s nice.’
‘Fine, side with him. Take the stereotypical Valentine’s Day, sap-filled dinner.’
‘I intend to.’
‘But mine is more fun. Admit it, you’d find something to do with whipped cream and a teddy.’
‘I’m burning this paper.’
‘Do I want to hear this or should I just tell you to shove it in advance?’
‘It would most benefit you to listen.’
‘Does this plan involve chocolate covered strawberries, whipped cream, and a black lace teddy?’
‘It might.’
‘I don’t want to hear it. Or should I say read it?’
‘See what you did, Moony?! And you were wrong: the teddy was red, and there were no chocolate covered strawberries--there was, however, a heart-shaped hot tub... You know, to go with the whole Valentine’s Day theme?’
‘It’s something Lily would most certainly never agree to. I suggest that Mr. Prongs go the route of leading her into the Room of Requirement and having a dinner set up there or something.’
‘Well, that’s just stupid.’
‘I think it’s nice.’
‘Fine, side with him. Take the stereotypical Valentine’s Day, sap-filled dinner.’
‘I intend to.’
‘But mine is more fun. Admit it, you’d find something to do with whipped cream and a teddy.’
‘I’m burning this paper.’
12.20.2009
Dec 20
“I’m not putting ketchup on bread,” James corrected. “I’m putting ketchup on toast.”
“Toast is bread that has been zapped,” Lily snapped.
“Well, you said that you don’t put ketchup on bread. You said nothing about bread that has been zapped. And zapped really isn’t a very accurate description of how you make toast, is it?”
“How do you make toast, then?”
“Well, I put it in a toaster. I don’t just point at a piece of bread and say, ‘Zap’!” James glanced curiously at her. “Can you just point at a piece of bread and say, ‘Zap!’ to get toast?”
“Toast is bread that has been zapped,” Lily snapped.
“Well, you said that you don’t put ketchup on bread. You said nothing about bread that has been zapped. And zapped really isn’t a very accurate description of how you make toast, is it?”
“How do you make toast, then?”
“Well, I put it in a toaster. I don’t just point at a piece of bread and say, ‘Zap’!” James glanced curiously at her. “Can you just point at a piece of bread and say, ‘Zap!’ to get toast?”
Dec 20
“Can I say, ‘Lily, your arse looks smashing in that skirt’?”
Remus shot him a withering glare.
“So that’s a firm no,” James noted, nodding.
Remus shot him a withering glare.
“So that’s a firm no,” James noted, nodding.
12.19.2009
Dec 19
Sirius chortled. “What’s better than blackmail, Prongs?”
“Nothing’s better than blackmail,” Peter assured him.
“Nothing’s better than blackmail,” Peter assured him.
Dec 19
Okay, new mission: Get Subject’s Romance Novels Away From Her, or Project GSRNAFH, for short.
Note to self: create more witty, clever, and pronounceable name for Project GSRNAFH.
Note to self: create more witty, clever, and pronounceable name for Project GSRNAFH.
12.18.2009
Dec 18
‘Mr. Prongs added that he cannot deal with crying girls, and that his boggart is most likely a crying Subject.’
‘Mr. Padfoot is of the opinion that Mr. Prongs is a full-fledged liar. Mr. Prongs’s boggart is a chicken.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah, bad childhood experience; I’ll tell you later.’
‘Mr. Padfoot is of the opinion that Mr. Prongs is a full-fledged liar. Mr. Prongs’s boggart is a chicken.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah, bad childhood experience; I’ll tell you later.’
Dec 18
“Well, to be fair, you did tell her you loved her when she told you not to, held onto her when she told you not to, and kissed her when she told you not to. You really weren’t listening very well.”
12.17.2009
Dec 17
“If I want a good score, I just have to say that I’ll die in some crazy set of circumstances, like getting trampled by a herd of giant sloths or something.” The still night air was abruptly shattered by her explosion of childlike laughter reverberating through the forest.
“Oh, Harry,” she said breathlessly, “you can’t trampled by sloths! They’re slow!!”
“Racing sloths,” amended Harry, bringing about a renewed shriek of mirth from Luna.
“Oh, Harry,” she said breathlessly, “you can’t trampled by sloths! They’re slow!!”
“Racing sloths,” amended Harry, bringing about a renewed shriek of mirth from Luna.
12.16.2009
Dec 16
Sirius threw a shoe at his best friend, who deftly dodged it.
“Yeah, that was pricky, wasn’t it?” James said darkly.
“Yeah, that was pricky, wasn’t it?” James said darkly.
12.15.2009
12.14.2009
12.13.2009
Dec 13
“Hypothetically, how would one go about…being a person Evans would willingly date and bring breakfast in bed to every single solitary morning, weekends and major holidays included?”
“Hypothetically, how far is one willing to go?”
“Hypothetically, one is willing to go as far as far extends.”
“Hypothetically, what if we stopped saying hypothetically?”
“Hypothetically, that’d be a good idea.”
“Hypothetically, how far is one willing to go?”
“Hypothetically, one is willing to go as far as far extends.”
“Hypothetically, what if we stopped saying hypothetically?”
“Hypothetically, that’d be a good idea.”
Dec 13
“Besides, if, and I mean if there was somebody, which there isn’t, I’d tell you if I wanted to. Which I would. It’s not as if I like having things pried out of me under the threat of torture. I like to keep my work and personal life separate, you know? And really, I wouldn’t object to a girlfriend at all. In fact, I’d rather like one. The way I figure, all anyone ever really needs in life is love. That and some chocolate. But then again, if I were really in love, you know, head over heels and all that, I probably wouldn’t care if I didn’t get any chocolate, because that’s what love is. Not chocolate; love isn’t chocolate, but when you’re in love, all of the other things that you thought were important suddenly aren’t anymore. Like chocolate. So, yes, I suppose I could do without chocolate if I were in love.”
12.12.2009
Dec 12
“I’m so glad that you weren’t chewed up, swallowed whole, cursed, blasted into a million pieces, splinched, dismembered, beheaded, boiled, shrunken, poisoned or killed in general.”
Dec 12
“Sorry that I’m late. You see, there was this critical care patient who had a reaction to the potion that we put him on, and we had to—”
“Eating!” Luna warned, as a gesture for Hermione to please stop her story.
“Sorry,” Hermione replied with a sheepish smile. Ron rose and wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning in for a kiss.
“Eating!” Harry warned, as a gesture for Ron to refrain from snogging Hermione in his presence.
“Eating!” Luna warned, as a gesture for Hermione to please stop her story.
“Sorry,” Hermione replied with a sheepish smile. Ron rose and wrapped his arms around her waist, leaning in for a kiss.
“Eating!” Harry warned, as a gesture for Ron to refrain from snogging Hermione in his presence.
12.11.2009
Dec 11
Why wasn’t he looking at her? And why were the tips of his ears so red? And why had he been so angry that she’d gone to the Yule Ball with Viktor Krum? And why was he so jealous when she went to Bulgaria that summer? And if the Hogwarts Express was leaving Platform 9 ¾ at 75 km/h, and another train is travelling along the same track in the opposite direction at–
Dec 11
“So close!” Ron whispered, wide-eyed.
“But no cigar,” Harry added sadly.
Ron stared. “What does a cigar have to do with anything?”
“But no cigar,” Harry added sadly.
Ron stared. “What does a cigar have to do with anything?”
12.10.2009
Dec 10
“So, basically, Rodge and I have been unconscious for half the school year.”
“Well…” Hermione hesitated. “Yes. Pretty much.”
“Brilliant!” the two boys echoed, managing weak high-fives.
“Well…” Hermione hesitated. “Yes. Pretty much.”
“Brilliant!” the two boys echoed, managing weak high-fives.
12.09.2009
Dec 9
“So…allow me to get this straight. You saw me running down the steps to the dungeons, and then you saw another me turning the corner. And no one stopped to think, ‘Hmm, that’s odd’?”
Dec 9
Diana’s chest heaved as she took deep, deliberate breaths. She seemed to be fighting some sort of inner turmoil, trying to restrain herself from strangling Owens with her bare hands.
12.08.2009
Dec 8
You know, he started being all “Put your right foot in and put your right foot out, put your right foot in and shake it all about…” and the Dementors all got confused and exploded.
12.07.2009
Dec 7
“Ah, McGonagall’s just an old softie at heart,” Ron said smugly.
Harry barely contained a snort, and Hermione couldn’t help but grin.
Harry barely contained a snort, and Hermione couldn’t help but grin.
12.06.2009
12.05.2009
Dec 5
“Mr. Darcy the gentleman has taken a temporary leave of absence. He was thrown overboard last night. Now, Darcy the gentleman would never even have taken you up on your most gracious offer of the bed last night.”
“And who, pray tell, are you sir?” she was grinning herself now, forgetting the impropriety of the moment; lost in the silliness of the moment and Darcy’s daring smile.
“Fitzwilliam the Dread Pirate Darcy,” he said quite gravely.
“And who, pray tell, are you sir?” she was grinning herself now, forgetting the impropriety of the moment; lost in the silliness of the moment and Darcy’s daring smile.
“Fitzwilliam the Dread Pirate Darcy,” he said quite gravely.
12.04.2009
12.03.2009
12.02.2009
Dec 2
“How many times must I tell you, Leo? It was your dear old dad who decided that eggshells add a—how did he put it...oh yes—a bit of ‘a delightful crunch’ to omelettes, not me.”
Dec 2
“When I’m old enough for a midlife crisis, I hope I don’t want to dye my hair green or something.”
“What do you mean you’re not old enough for a midlife crisis? I thought that you passed over the hill at least fifty, sixty years ago...”
“What do you mean you’re not old enough for a midlife crisis? I thought that you passed over the hill at least fifty, sixty years ago...”
12.01.2009
Dec 1
“He hates you, you know.”
“I know.”
“He wants you dead now.”
“I know.”
“He has many powerful friends. They’ll do something.”
“I know; I’m counting on it.”
“I know.”
“He wants you dead now.”
“I know.”
“He has many powerful friends. They’ll do something.”
“I know; I’m counting on it.”
Dec 1
‘Mr. Moony would like to apologize ahead of time and remark upon what a wonderful Headmaster Professor Dumbledore is.’
‘Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, splendid job sir, but he would like to add that Professor Dumbledore is in need of a haircut.’
‘Mr. Padfoot should probably keep his big mouth shut, but he is going to tell Dumbledore that he should destroy the Slytherin house, order Quidditch to be played regularly, with games every week, no homework, no library, more trips to Hogsemeade, more chocolate cake for dessert, especially with chocolate icing, the creamy kind, with some nice pudding as well. I do like pudding. Every dinner should be a feat at Hogwarts. Otherwise spiffy job old dude.’
‘Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Padfoot. More pudding.’
‘Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, splendid job sir, but he would like to add that Professor Dumbledore is in need of a haircut.’
‘Mr. Padfoot should probably keep his big mouth shut, but he is going to tell Dumbledore that he should destroy the Slytherin house, order Quidditch to be played regularly, with games every week, no homework, no library, more trips to Hogsemeade, more chocolate cake for dessert, especially with chocolate icing, the creamy kind, with some nice pudding as well. I do like pudding. Every dinner should be a feat at Hogwarts. Otherwise spiffy job old dude.’
‘Mr. Wormtail agrees with Mr. Padfoot. More pudding.’
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