Apr 30

502.

Apr 29

“And if they get too rambunctious, I’m authorized to light them on fire…Only for a short while, of course,” he jauntily added.

Apr 29

“Diana’s going to kill me, isn’t she? We’re going to get home, and she’s going to find a chunk of kryptonite, and she’s going to shove it up my nose.”

Apr 28

501.

Apr 27

Remus sometimes wished he had a handbook which told him exactly which aspects of himself were due to being a werewolf—and by omission, which were just personal quirks.

Apr 27

“Kill that morning person for me, will you? We can’t let them breed,” he mumbled into her hair.

Apr 26

500.

Apr 25

“Sir, if you’re absolutely determined to swig straight from the bottle, I can’t really stop you. But I feel obliged to point out that there are glasses available.”

Jack grins. “Oh, Ianto, what would we do without you?”

“Probably suffocate under your own filth within a fortnight, I should imagine, sir.”

Apr 25

“Police say the men in this security video may be connected to the incident.”

“Look, Mickey, we’re famous!”

“We’re not famous, we’re fugitives.”

Apr 24

499.

Apr 23

Oh thinking was always a dangerous thing. It always seemed to get him into trouble. Well, it also got him out of trouble. He wondered what the ratio of thinking getting him into trouble to thinking getting him out of trouble was.

Apr 23

“Neither of us is at a place in our life now where we could possibly accommodate—”

“I can accommodate,” Ron interjects impatiently. “Watch me. Bam. There you go. I’ve accommodated. Fancy that.”

Apr 22

498.

Apr 21

“Something funny about this place...”

“Last time you said that we ended up running for our lives from a lot of very angry geckos.”

“Gethrix,” he corrected automatically, “and how was I supposed to know that was their queen?” He poked the screwdriver admonishingly at her. “Wait here, don’t wander off, I’ll be back in a tick.”

“And the last time you said that—”

Apr 21

“We tend to call it the blue X-ray thing.”

“Sounds technical.”

Apr 20

497.

Apr 19

“Who said anything about being useless? I was out financing the angry mob with government compensation while you two were having a lay about.”

Apr 19

“That’s not my job to explain, sir. All I have to do is get you back to the bunker. Alive if possible.”

“Is there tea in this bunker?”

“As a matter of fact, there is.”

“Well, let’s go then.”

Apr 18

496.

Apr 17

“Kidnapping? Aw, I don’t think I’d call it kidnapping.”

“No? So what would you call it, then? Taking hostage? No? How about, ‘Stealing away?’ Say, can you hijack one person or does it have to be a vehicle full of passengers? I’m a little rusty on my street crime terminology.”

Apr 17

She’s the kind of girl who likes drinks that match the shade of her nail polish, with long, ridiculous names and little umbrellas.

Apr 16

495.

Apr 15

If Sarah had ever given any thought to what the sort of man who broke into people’s houses in the middle of the night to rewire their robot dogs might look like - which she hadn’t - she wouldn’t have thought they’d look anything like this man. He had very white teeth, very blue eyes, very black hair and he was holding his hands out to her in the universal gesture of please-don’t-scream.

Apr 15

“James. Are you talking to your hair again?” Sirius asked.

“Yes,” he replied shamelessly. “I mean, nothing else seems to work.”

Apr 14

494.

Apr 13

He was quite fond of his coat, and his mother even complimented the colours, using the word ‘gaudy’, which he’d taken to mean ‘spectacular’.

Apr 13

“You are aware that there are others who’ve seen her naked before, right?”

“I like to pretend those people were killed in a series of separate and increasingly unlikely skiing accidents. Avalanche into a minefield, polar bear with a sniper rifle, yeti with a perchance for devouring ex-boyfriends…”

Apr 12

493.

Apr 11

“Tell your aunt that statistically she’s more likely to be mauled by a bear.”

“Actually, statistics favour the bear being mauled by my aunt.”

Apr 11

“Actually, I was fired from the morgue for juggling brains. Specifically, juggling brains badly and leaving a mess on the floor.”

Apr 10

492.

Apr 9

“I think I deserve a bit of credit for not saying ‘I told you so’ yet. Although I do have a little ‘I was right’ dance prepared...”

Apr 9

“I submit that Lily Evans is a person of excellent taste and judgement, in addition to her other sterling qualities.”

“And how do you support this statement?” Sirius asked sternly.

“I personally overheard her call Severus Snape a greasy, noodle-brained nitwit.”

“Right,” Sirius said, sitting down. “Such perception renders Miss Evans worthy of the best the Marauders have to offer. But I’ll be off on holiday, so she’ll have to settle for this twit.”

Apr 8

491.

Apr 7

“Careful, Prongs. I know where you sleep.”

“Yes, but I know who hid those spiders in Peter’s bedsheets last week.”

Peter’s eyes suddenly narrowed, and he looked at Sirius with angry suspicion. “That was you?”
Sirius apparently decided survival was the better part of valor and booked it as Peter fired hex after hex at his unprotected back.

Remus watched them run down the hallway, openly amused. “I thought you put those spiders in Peter’s bed,” he said to James.

“I never said Sirius had done it, I only said I knew who had. It is my fault how Peter interpreted it?”

Apr 7

“To summarise, he said ‘tell Potter to stop bugging me, we’re not at Hogwarts now, I’m doing my best, goddammit, and I’ll let him know as soon as we find anything,’ except, of course, with a nastier tone, more sarcasm and some very inventive swearing.”

Apr 6

490.

Apr 5

“I’m sure, as our Captain, you have a rousing speech prepared.”

“Nah, I thought I’d just stammer incoherently.”

“Wouldn’t want to break with tradition.”

Apr 5

"I’d rather kiss a Blast-Ended Skrewt. On the end with the blast."

Apr 4

489.

May 4

504.

Apr 3

“Right, sorry. That was a bit….”

“Demeaning? Insulting? Offensive?”

“All those words are good, yes.”

Apr 3

His commanding officer reported that Darryl had thrown the wrong end of the grenade.

Apr 2

488.

Apr 1

“We didn’t do it.”

“At least not that. As for the other thing, yeah I suppose we did it.”

Apr 1

“Sexy pyjamas is an oxymoron. If you want to impress the girls, sleep starkers. Now, will you two shut up and let me sleep?”