“You’re going to need to trust me. Magic can do a lot of things that technology can’t. I need you to forget everything the doctor said”
“Done,” the little girl said. She giggled. “I wasn’t listening anyway.”
5.31.2010
May 31
Harry awoke slowly with a sharp pain in his neck. He tried to reach up to sooth it only to find that his arms were manacled to the chair he was sitting in.
5.30.2010
May 30
Harry Potter did a triumphant little dance, which involved much flailing of the arms. He could defeat dark wizards with ease, but alas - dancing had never been his forte. Even dancing of a triumphant nature.r
May 30
“Ron used to have a crush on Professor Sinistra!”
“Harry wet the bed in first year!”
“Ron picks his nose!”
“Harry likes the smell of Polyjuice Potion!”
“Ron thinks Parvarti’s hot!”
“Harry said Lavender isn’t half bad either!”
“Ron used to sleep with a teddy bear!”
“Harry still does!”
“Ron used to wear pink underwear!”
“Harry still does!”
“Harry wet the bed in first year!”
“Ron picks his nose!”
“Harry likes the smell of Polyjuice Potion!”
“Ron thinks Parvarti’s hot!”
“Harry said Lavender isn’t half bad either!”
“Ron used to sleep with a teddy bear!”
“Harry still does!”
“Ron used to wear pink underwear!”
“Harry still does!”
5.29.2010
May 29
Ron shrugged again, then grinned wickedly and lowered his voice. “Guess what?”
“What?”
“We’re getting married.”
Hermione couldn’t help but smile widely at that. They both sat there in silence for a moment, grinning stupidly at each other and glowing with happiness.
“What?”
“We’re getting married.”
Hermione couldn’t help but smile widely at that. They both sat there in silence for a moment, grinning stupidly at each other and glowing with happiness.
5.28.2010
May 28
So I guess in the fifth year Transfiguration class they’re turning teacups into toads, and by now Professor Trelawney’s nose is practically in the teacup, of course. So Roger nonchalantly reaches over with his wand, and turns the teacup into a toad. Professor Trelawney screams at the top of her lungs, jumps backwards, and Roger says, ‘Bet you didn’t See that coming’.
May 28
“Can I ask you a question?”
“What sort of question?”
“First promise me that you’ll answer it truthfully.”
“What sort of question?” he repeated uncertainly.
“I’m not going to ask you what colour underwear you’re wearing or anything. It’s just a simple question.”
“Fine,” he agreed finally. “Ask away.”
“How did you get caught in Egypt?”
“My underwear is white,” he answered with false enthusiasm.
“What sort of question?”
“First promise me that you’ll answer it truthfully.”
“What sort of question?” he repeated uncertainly.
“I’m not going to ask you what colour underwear you’re wearing or anything. It’s just a simple question.”
“Fine,” he agreed finally. “Ask away.”
“How did you get caught in Egypt?”
“My underwear is white,” he answered with false enthusiasm.
5.27.2010
May 27
“How’s your leg?”
“Better. She put something on it that smelled like old socks and burned like hell, and then the wound closed up.”
“Old socks, huh?”
“A better description eludes me at the moment.”
“Better. She put something on it that smelled like old socks and burned like hell, and then the wound closed up.”
“Old socks, huh?”
“A better description eludes me at the moment.”
May 27
“If that—” he saw the stern look on her face and refrained from swearing like a sailor. “—is elected, I’m going down to the Ministry and booting him out of office myself. Literally. With a boot. Preferably one with steel toes.”
5.26.2010
May 26
“Shh, shh,” Harry interrupted, holding up his hands. His eyes were closed tightly. “I’m trying to fix that mental picture in my mind…you sinking into the floor, and Hermione standing triumphantly over you, and your entire class laughing…”
“They weren’t laughing.”
“They are in this mental picture.”
“They weren’t laughing.”
“They are in this mental picture.”
May 26
“Does anyone here know where the bloody hell my bow tie is?!”
“Good heavens, Percy swore!”
“The apocalypse has come!”
“Save the women and children!”
“Shut up you two! I - need - my - bow-tie!”
“Good heavens, Percy swore!”
“The apocalypse has come!”
“Save the women and children!”
“Shut up you two! I - need - my - bow-tie!”
5.25.2010
May 25
“Ron, I reckon you’d better step up,” he said seriously. “You’re going to lose her, you know.”
“‘You’re going to lose her’?” Ron sniggered. “Harry, have you been reading those romance novels again?”
“‘You’re going to lose her’?” Ron sniggered. “Harry, have you been reading those romance novels again?”
May 25
“And I’m sure your maroon plaid pajamas are equally attractive under there,” she replied scathingly, gesturing to Ron’s night-robe.
“Oh no,” Ron responded mildly. “I sleep in the nude.”
And with that, he cheerfully strode away, Harry holding his stomach to keep from laughing as Hermione’s jaw dropped.
“Oh no,” Ron responded mildly. “I sleep in the nude.”
And with that, he cheerfully strode away, Harry holding his stomach to keep from laughing as Hermione’s jaw dropped.
5.24.2010
May 24
“I’m sorry, both of you! I’m sorry I didn’t write and that I was such a…” Hermione said something which made both Harry and Ron’s eyes widen in surprise, “…when you came here, Ron, and…just for being so stupid!” she declared passionately, stomping her foot.
May 24
“But we need Roger to play tomorrow! He’s the best bloody Seeker we’ve had since the great Harry Potter!” Max suddenly bowed his head solemnly. “May his broom always be swift,” he added.
5.23.2010
May 23
“I believe it’s called a pendulum,” Dumbledore answered, tapping his fingers in time to the sound of the smooth, steel balls clicking together. “Entertainment for hours. I can’t fathom why they bothered inventing television…”
May 23
“Oh yeah, and this is the part where I crashed into a suit of armour.”
“We laughed and laughed…”
“What people don’t realize is that the suits of armour are not very well-paid. They were quite cranky on the set. I, personally, believe that the thing tripped me, the stupid *bleeped out*, and I called him that to his face, too.”
“And then Eugene, the suit of armour, got all upset and wouldn’t come out of his trailer.”
“We laughed and laughed…”
“What people don’t realize is that the suits of armour are not very well-paid. They were quite cranky on the set. I, personally, believe that the thing tripped me, the stupid *bleeped out*, and I called him that to his face, too.”
“And then Eugene, the suit of armour, got all upset and wouldn’t come out of his trailer.”
5.22.2010
May 22
Hermione passed the portrait of a wizard with a high collar, who would have looked very important and dignified if it hadn’t been for the fact that he was snoring loudly.
May 22
“You don’t suppose that Project Themiscyra involves the Nazis’ idea of building a better woman--an Amazon?”
“One could only hope, Kinch,” Hogan replied with a sly grin. “One could only hope.”
“One could only hope, Kinch,” Hogan replied with a sly grin. “One could only hope.”
5.21.2010
May 21
One of the shadows immediately broke away and made his way to the crossroads. Grayson was impressed by Carter’s easy professionalism. He watched as the soldier checked to see if the coast was clear before running across the road and quickly fading into the dark woods beyond. The next instant, the night’s stillness was abruptly shattered. A series of loud crashes accompanied by several painful yelps came in the direction from which Carter had disappeared. The next moment a slightly embarrassed voice called from the other side of the road. “Uh...I’m okay, fellas...I, um, tripped. Sorry!”
May 21
“Sir, we have a problem—”
“I am not a problem, Sergeant!” Hogan whirled in the direction of the voice—Greta! “I am going with you, and that is that.”
“I am not a problem, Sergeant!” Hogan whirled in the direction of the voice—Greta! “I am going with you, and that is that.”
5.20.2010
May 20
The lookout nodded, and then surreptitiously dropped a red handkerchief on the ground. Further down the main compound, another lookout, playing catch outside Barracks Five, began bouncing the baseball against the barracks wall. Immediately, two men standing just outside the office started a loud argument, which quickly exploded into a fist fight. Several others quickly surrounded them and yelled encouragement. Their jeers and roars were soon drowned out by the pounding feet of the fast approaching guards. Shrill whistles rang out in the early evening, accompanied by the chilling yowls of snarling dogs.
May 20
“Okay, I’ll see what I can do. The one problem is this ‘hydrometer.’”
Carter shrugged. “If you can’t get one, sir, I can still extract the potassium chlorate, but I won’t be able to measure it accurately. It could make the stuff even more unstable.”
“As I was saying, one hydrometer coming up,” Hogan said smoothly, flashing a grin.
Carter shrugged. “If you can’t get one, sir, I can still extract the potassium chlorate, but I won’t be able to measure it accurately. It could make the stuff even more unstable.”
“As I was saying, one hydrometer coming up,” Hogan said smoothly, flashing a grin.
5.19.2010
5.18.2010
5.17.2010
May 17
“I’m almost 40,” Charlie retorted flatly. “I have a degenerative disease that makes me appear childlike. The doctors say I’ll be dead before I reach 50. The good news is that if I croak before the end of the semester, you all get A’s.”
“Is that true?”
“No, I’m sixteen, in perfect health, and the only way any of you are going to get A’s is to study.”
“Is that true?”
“No, I’m sixteen, in perfect health, and the only way any of you are going to get A’s is to study.”
May 17
The brown cardigan had seen better days. Today, it had been x-rayed, prodded, poked, twisted, and, from the length of time that Arkham security examined it, Gordon suspected that it had also been unravelled and re-knitted.
5.16.2010
May 16
“If you don’t want to marry Adele, just have Lily go with you to your mum’s Christmas ball. Find all the mistletoe you can and be disgustingly obvious in your devotion.”
“You honestly think something so simpleminded would work?”
“Jimmy, that ‘simpleminded’ trick, as you so callously put it, got me out of three arranged marriages. Three.”
“You honestly think something so simpleminded would work?”
“Jimmy, that ‘simpleminded’ trick, as you so callously put it, got me out of three arranged marriages. Three.”
5.15.2010
May 15
As Diana carefully wrapped the golden strands around the blue and gold clad wrist, Booster smiled, “Ooooo bondage … it’s a dream come true.”
Diana frowned. Aquaman glared. J’onn looked a little more green than normal. Green Arrow smothered a laugh.
Booster rolled his eyes, “Oh come on, I know I’m not the only one to think that.”
She jerked the lasso causing Booster to wince as she spoke, “Yes, but you were the one stupid enough to say it.”
Diana frowned. Aquaman glared. J’onn looked a little more green than normal. Green Arrow smothered a laugh.
Booster rolled his eyes, “Oh come on, I know I’m not the only one to think that.”
She jerked the lasso causing Booster to wince as she spoke, “Yes, but you were the one stupid enough to say it.”
5.14.2010
May 14
His eyes were narrowed; his expression, speculative. It reminded her of an expression of her father’s. He looked just like that when he was sizing up a prospective purchase at the annual Athenian horse sale in Exmoor Forest.
5.13.2010
5.12.2010
May 12
He paused at the lake’s edge, facing the water. “All right,” he said, “let’s see what you’ve got.”
The water, which had up to that point been stirred only by the wind, began to bubble and roil. As the furious frothing spread to every corner of the lake, the centre of the water swelled alarmingly, shedding foam and weed left and right. The glassy greenish-black swell broke in a phenomenal surge of flying arms and suckers and tentacles that reared up against the sky before crashing down to the surface, scattering droplets everywhere. The tentacles reared up again, making snatching motions at the clouds, before finally smashing to a halt just shy of where John stood.
He grinned. “Now that,” he said, “is a lot more like it. Nice job, you.”
One of the tentacles lifted from the water and waved cheerfully before the squid dove back into the lake’s depths.
The water, which had up to that point been stirred only by the wind, began to bubble and roil. As the furious frothing spread to every corner of the lake, the centre of the water swelled alarmingly, shedding foam and weed left and right. The glassy greenish-black swell broke in a phenomenal surge of flying arms and suckers and tentacles that reared up against the sky before crashing down to the surface, scattering droplets everywhere. The tentacles reared up again, making snatching motions at the clouds, before finally smashing to a halt just shy of where John stood.
He grinned. “Now that,” he said, “is a lot more like it. Nice job, you.”
One of the tentacles lifted from the water and waved cheerfully before the squid dove back into the lake’s depths.
May 12
“So first time a dragon shows up to strafe the school, the Gryffindors’ll be running off to get themselves killed fighting it, the Ravenclaws’ll have to be dragged out of the library kicking and screaming, the Slytherins’ll be fighting over who gets to rebuild once everything’s burned down, and the Hufflepuffs’ll be playing Red Cross once the beast’s done taking everything else to bits.”
5.11.2010
May 11
Floating just in front of him- just in front of him, inside the bad breath zone- was the ugliest grin he’d ever seen. It was sprawled across the face of someone he didn’t recognise, but given that the person was floating in mid-air and wearing clothes that’d make a golfer cry, he reckoned it was the poltergeist he’d been warned about.
May 11
The grounds are entirely too big for a lazy bastard like myself to navigate on foot. And the only alternatives to ‘on foot’ are brooms and ghastly flying horses that eat meat and cigarettes.
5.10.2010
May 10
Dumbledore tossed Snape’s wand back to him. Instinctively, John hit the ground and rolled sideways. None too soon, either, as Snape’s Blasting Curse seared into the ground where John’s feet had been moments before. He came to a stop with his wand pointed up- Straight into the grimly determined face of Snape, whose own wand was trained squarely on the centre of John’s chest.
May 10
“Setting his robes on fire was an interesting touch.”
“Some things you can’t ignore no matter how badly you want to kill the other fellow. I learned that early on.”
“Some things you can’t ignore no matter how badly you want to kill the other fellow. I learned that early on.”
5.09.2010
May 9
“Recklessness? Nah. Just an error of judgment.”
“And what would that error be, do you think?” Snape wasn’t the only one who could smile evilly.
John’s unwholesome grin spilled across his face as he lifted his head. “Didn’t use a big enough brick.”
“And what would that error be, do you think?” Snape wasn’t the only one who could smile evilly.
John’s unwholesome grin spilled across his face as he lifted his head. “Didn’t use a big enough brick.”
May 9
“Well, you know your way around a wand, and you’ve got a good hand when it comes to spell safety-”
Probably because the alternative back home’s getting your lungs gnawed out by demons, thought John.
Probably because the alternative back home’s getting your lungs gnawed out by demons, thought John.
5.08.2010
May 8
“Merlin help us all if your wand gave way during the battle-”
“The what?”
“-but it seems to be in perfectly adequate condition,” Flitwick continued, ignoring him. He turned away from the others, saying “Rana!” and making a hooking motion with the wand; several small, spotted green frogs leapt from its tip, hopping away at top speed. “Oh, that’ll do nicely. Here you go.”
Taking the wand back, John eyed the little fellow. “Go back to this ‘battle’ part.”
“The what?”
“-but it seems to be in perfectly adequate condition,” Flitwick continued, ignoring him. He turned away from the others, saying “Rana!” and making a hooking motion with the wand; several small, spotted green frogs leapt from its tip, hopping away at top speed. “Oh, that’ll do nicely. Here you go.”
Taking the wand back, John eyed the little fellow. “Go back to this ‘battle’ part.”
May 8
So far I have made enough money to buy five more books, couple of decent drinks, & edible meals for next two weeks (very important- Hagrid considers stoats a source of sandwich meat).
5.07.2010
5.06.2010
May 6
“I think if it were my pet monster-”
“Snuggles isn’t a monster!”
“-that someone else had threatened to kill, I’d be snarling at him like a mad dog. And yet you didn’t even take a swing at me in the forest; you brought me right back home and gave me these, just so I could resume a habit you don’t approve of. They’re obviously important to you...”
“Snuggles isn’t a monster!”
“-that someone else had threatened to kill, I’d be snarling at him like a mad dog. And yet you didn’t even take a swing at me in the forest; you brought me right back home and gave me these, just so I could resume a habit you don’t approve of. They’re obviously important to you...”
May 6
They didn’t try biting him again. No, that would have been too easy. The damn things started following him instead, to his horror- and no amount of ducking between trees or doubling back seemed to shake them. Indeed, from the noises they were making, they seemed to think it was a game- and a thoroughly entertaining one at that.
5.05.2010
5.04.2010
May 4
Not as bad as the Imperius Curse, though. That was the act of magically shoving your hand up someone’s arse and working them like a puppet, even to the point of getting them to cast spells of their own.
May 4
Another chapter blandly laid out how to build a device called a Pensieve, which seemed to suck the thoughts from one’s head and hold them in stasis. (John marked that idea down for later- he could think of a few times when not knowing certain things would’ve aided his poker face immensely.)
5.03.2010
5.02.2010
May 2
Purebloods, squibs, half-bloods, giant crossbreeds... am I mad, or is this ‘Ministry of Magic’ thing the sodding Kennel Club in disguise?
May 2
Ollivander’s tape measure had just extended along his forearm when there was a crash from the other side of the shop; both men froze.
“Sorry!” called Tonks. “I, ah-”
“Miss Tonks,” Ollivander said in a carefully controlled tone, “I would take it as a great favour indeed if you would kindly wait outside.”
“I’ll just put these back, shall I?”
“Now.”
“Ah. Right.” A small bell tinkled somewhere overhead as she left.
“Sorry!” called Tonks. “I, ah-”
“Miss Tonks,” Ollivander said in a carefully controlled tone, “I would take it as a great favour indeed if you would kindly wait outside.”
“I’ll just put these back, shall I?”
“Now.”
“Ah. Right.” A small bell tinkled somewhere overhead as she left.
5.01.2010
May 1
“Hagrid made you dinner,” she said at last.
“Yeah.”
“And… you ate it.”
“Yeah.”
Tonks gave a long, low whistle. “All right,” she said, “you win..."
“Yeah.”
“And… you ate it.”
“Yeah.”
Tonks gave a long, low whistle. “All right,” she said, “you win..."
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