“You all right back there?” yelled Tonks, her voice almost lost in the wind.
“No!”
She laughed. The wretched woman laughed. “Oh, come on! It’s not that bad!”
Eyes still closed, John gritted his teeth a moment before yelling back. “We’re doing sixty bloody miles an hour over the countryside on a bloody broomstick that just tried to kill me! Yes! It is that bad!”
4.30.2010
Apr 30
Voldemort? Apparently he’s some magic psychopathic racist dictator or something who held power 15 yrs. ago. Reign of terror, people dying left & right, armies of sinister magic creatures, etc. etc., but got his arse served to him on a silver platter by a baby name of Harry Potter. Been trying to stage comeback ever since.
4.29.2010
4.28.2010
Apr 28
Apparently he’s some magic psychopathic racist dictator or something who held power 15 yrs. ago. Reign of terror, people dying left & right, armies of sinister magic creatures, etc. etc., but got his arse served to him on a silver platter by a baby name of Harry Potter. Been trying to stage comeback ever since.
Apr 28
Would’ve called it a bloody stupid way to die, only that would’ve required me to, y’know, die.
4.27.2010
Apr 27
Thought that thing was supposed to be dead. Wasn’t dead. Alive, barking mad, looking to blow up Tim, yes. Dead, no.
4.26.2010
Apr 26
Her father smirked down at her. “Haven’t you enough brothers without adopting more?”
“But I haven’t a little brother, Father,” Katrina pointed out primly. “Nor one with black hair.”
“Hmm. Perhaps your mother and I should do something about that.”
By the dark look Keri Tragyl levelled at her husband, this did not seem to have very good odds. “Mum says no. Can I keep Severus?”
“But I haven’t a little brother, Father,” Katrina pointed out primly. “Nor one with black hair.”
“Hmm. Perhaps your mother and I should do something about that.”
By the dark look Keri Tragyl levelled at her husband, this did not seem to have very good odds. “Mum says no. Can I keep Severus?”
Apr 26
He picked up his spoon and began to stir, re-mixing the thick broth into an even consistency. He nearly screamed when a ... thing ... he didn’t want to recognize rose to the surface. He did drop the spoon with a clatter. He swallowed his own bile, and picked up the utensil again, telling himself that he did not just see an eye in his soup. He fished it out with little difficulty and hid the disturbing item between the folds of his napkin where he couldn’t see it, and where it couldn’t see him. Please, don’t let that be a human eye, he silently begged whoever might be listening. Several more items joined the not-an-eye as he carefully inspected each spoonful before putting it in his mouth. Voldemort joined him about halfway through, and took the seat across from Severus. He did not eat, either because it was no longer necessary for him to do so, or because he already had. Instead, he simply watched Severus eat (or exile certain parts to the napkin). Only as Severus neared the end of his bowl did he speak. “I trust you enjoyed the Nott Stew?” Severus stubbornly refused to consider the possibility that the beef may not have been beef.
4.25.2010
Apr 25
“Clarence and I,” Keri corrected automatically.
Trina, through long practice, ignored her easily.
Trina, through long practice, ignored her easily.
Apr 25
“I’m sorry.”
“No, Tryna. You’re not. That’s your ‘I’m-scared-don’t-punish-me’ sorry, not your ‘I-am-really-sorry’ sorry.”
She blinked in surprise, not having been aware she had two types of sorry. Nor that Clarence could tell them apart. Though she did mentally concede he was right. That would probably explain why she couldn’t figure out what she was apologizing for.
“No, Tryna. You’re not. That’s your ‘I’m-scared-don’t-punish-me’ sorry, not your ‘I-am-really-sorry’ sorry.”
She blinked in surprise, not having been aware she had two types of sorry. Nor that Clarence could tell them apart. Though she did mentally concede he was right. That would probably explain why she couldn’t figure out what she was apologizing for.
4.24.2010
Apr 24
He didn’t know what to call him. ‘Voldemort’ seemed too informal. ‘Lord Voldemort,’ too respectful. ‘Mr. Voldemort’ was just weird.
Apr 24
He blinked at her, and opened his mouth twice before saying, “You are evil.”
She grinned, “Why, thank you, Matty.”
“Truly and completely and utterly evil.”
“I like you, too, Matty.”
She grinned, “Why, thank you, Matty.”
“Truly and completely and utterly evil.”
“I like you, too, Matty.”
4.23.2010
Apr 23
“So you’re really like you were twelve again, huh? How’d that happen? Did it hurt? Was Voldemort involved? Can you really not remember anything? Was it a potion? What did it taste like? Do you know what was in it? I can think of a few ways you could…”
Severus had held up his hand to fend off the deluge of words and questions. He hadn’t really expected the Ravenclaw to stop mid-word at the gesture. The kid must’ve been well trained by the Professor. He made the mistake of lowering his hand again without having made a specific remark or question. The flow of words picked up right where they had left off.
“…make to do that kind of thing. Tryna says you’ve had a few resurfacing memories, so they must not have been totally eradicated, only suppressed, and that would have to be dried elephant blood. It was a potion, right?”
Severus had held up his hand to fend off the deluge of words and questions. He hadn’t really expected the Ravenclaw to stop mid-word at the gesture. The kid must’ve been well trained by the Professor. He made the mistake of lowering his hand again without having made a specific remark or question. The flow of words picked up right where they had left off.
“…make to do that kind of thing. Tryna says you’ve had a few resurfacing memories, so they must not have been totally eradicated, only suppressed, and that would have to be dried elephant blood. It was a potion, right?”
Apr 23
She took a pencil from behind her ear, made a note in her notebook, and then bit at the eraser. “Eating all right?”
“Fine,” he told her, wondering if he should make some remark her own eating habits if she found a pencil tasty. He decided against it.
“What’s your favourite colour?”
He blinked, and answered truthfully in his surprise at the question, “Blue.”
She looked at him sharply. “Blue?” she repeated.
He shrugged. “Black’s a close second, especially in conjunction with the blue.”
“Fine,” he told her, wondering if he should make some remark her own eating habits if she found a pencil tasty. He decided against it.
“What’s your favourite colour?”
He blinked, and answered truthfully in his surprise at the question, “Blue.”
She looked at him sharply. “Blue?” she repeated.
He shrugged. “Black’s a close second, especially in conjunction with the blue.”
4.22.2010
Apr 22
“I’ll put you in the Hermione category, then.”
“The Hermione category?”
“The has-no-sense-of-humour-when-she-gets-turned-into-a-canary category.”
“The Hermione category?”
“The has-no-sense-of-humour-when-she-gets-turned-into-a-canary category.”
Apr 22
Severus did not trust that smile. Not at all. Way too much like James’s. And his nebulous, instinctive feelings towards the names ‘Fred and George’ told him he should never ever ever put anything into his mouth that they had touched first. Not if he didn’t want to turn into a canary.
4.21.2010
Apr 21
“Didn’t Great Uncle Albus tell you not the beat me up?”
“Great Uncle Albus told me not to let anybody else beat you up. He didn’t say a thing about what I could or couldn’t do.”
“Must’ve misheard him then. Could’ve sworn he said not to let the older kids beat me up. You’re an older kid.”
“Great Uncle Albus told me not to let anybody else beat you up. He didn’t say a thing about what I could or couldn’t do.”
“Must’ve misheard him then. Could’ve sworn he said not to let the older kids beat me up. You’re an older kid.”
4.20.2010
Apr 20
“When you’re facing him, you just need to remember one thing.”
“I’m not slimy.”
Harry gave him a searching look, as though trying to decide if a visit to St. Mungos was in order. “Ok, that, too.”
“I’m not slimy.”
Harry gave him a searching look, as though trying to decide if a visit to St. Mungos was in order. “Ok, that, too.”
Apr 20
“I did not kill his parents! I wasn’t anywhere near his parents! I tried to kill you, but, obviously, I missed!”
4.19.2010
Apr 19
“He’s dead,” Harry said shortly.
No. James was. James is. James ever shall be. James couldn’t die. James was too Gryffindor to die. Too insanely lucky. Severus shook his head.
“Can’t be. He’s James Bloody Potter.”
Harry barked a short, bitter laugh. “All this time I thought his middle name was Harold.”
No. James was. James is. James ever shall be. James couldn’t die. James was too Gryffindor to die. Too insanely lucky. Severus shook his head.
“Can’t be. He’s James Bloody Potter.”
Harry barked a short, bitter laugh. “All this time I thought his middle name was Harold.”
Apr 19
“You only have a head,” Severus pointed out.
Worried, he wasn’t. Disconcerted, he was. Running around headless was almost understandable, but heading around bodiless? That was less normal.
Worried, he wasn’t. Disconcerted, he was. Running around headless was almost understandable, but heading around bodiless? That was less normal.
4.18.2010
4.17.2010
Apr 17
“I’m going to the Grand Canyon. I’m visiting my grand mother. She lives there. Well not actually there, but near there. Nobody really lives in the canyon. It’s her birthday.”
Apr 17
Voldemort nodded and in unison they raised their wands, but before any of them could enter the Dursley residence, a shadow darted between them, several stumbled to get out of the way.
“Tag!” shouted a young voice.
“Potter.” hissed Voldemort, aiming his wand at the shadow which was rapidly disappearing into the sky.
“Tag!” shouted a young voice.
“Potter.” hissed Voldemort, aiming his wand at the shadow which was rapidly disappearing into the sky.
4.16.2010
Apr 16
“That’s my problem,” he said to Uncle Vernon as if confessing. “I never think before I act. I mean I’ll get the urge to do something and…” Sirius slammed his fist into the palm of his opposite hand, with a very loud smacking sound, “…bam! It’s done. All that time in prison, you’d think I’d learn my lesson, but really I seem to be in more of a rush to get things over and done with then before. That’s one of the reasons I’m so fond of your nephew; he thinks things through, more then I do anyway. He’s quite convincing too. For example when I found out his ‘Aunt Marge’ had referred to my dearly departed friend Lily Potter in a less then pleasant manner, I was going to burn your house to the ground, but then Harry, always the thinker that one, Harry says ‘you really shouldn’t burn their house down’ and I think he was right, don’t you?”
Apr 16
“There is some new darkness working here, and I do not know its name,” the centaur said.
“Maybe it doesn’t have one,” I said. I was pulling the mystical talk out the thin air, but Firenze seemed to think I’d said something clever, because he nodded sagely.
“Maybe it doesn’t have one,” I said. I was pulling the mystical talk out the thin air, but Firenze seemed to think I’d said something clever, because he nodded sagely.
4.15.2010
Apr 15
As I spoke the pooka echoed the less pleasant words, saying “blood” and “death” just after I did.
Apr 15
“Oliver, you’ll do fine,” Katie said. She walked up to Oliver and kissed him on the cheek.
“No worries Oliver,” said Alicia, who then kissed him on the other cheek.
“What they said,” said Angelina, before she kissed him on the cheek as well.
Oliver was not longer frozen, and was blushing quite a bit. He looked almost inspired enough to play, but lingering doubt was apparent. Of course George Weasley knew just what to say to make sure Oliver entered the pitch with confidence, or at least great speed.
As Angelina stepped back, George stepped up to Oliver, put his hands on the Keeper’s shoulders, and said very solemnly, “Tongue or no tongue?”
If Oliver doesn’t make it in Quidditch, I don’t think he’d have a problem getting on England’s Olympic track team. He also did a very impressive shrug-spin-dodge move, to escape from George, which may indicate he missed a calling to rugby as well. I had to purposely smash my foot into the door frame to keep from laughing, but I was worried it would start me vomiting.
The girls were still giggling when we got to the centre of the field. Oliver was already hovering in the air, well out of reach of the Weasleys, and shooting them suspicious looks.
“No worries Oliver,” said Alicia, who then kissed him on the other cheek.
“What they said,” said Angelina, before she kissed him on the cheek as well.
Oliver was not longer frozen, and was blushing quite a bit. He looked almost inspired enough to play, but lingering doubt was apparent. Of course George Weasley knew just what to say to make sure Oliver entered the pitch with confidence, or at least great speed.
As Angelina stepped back, George stepped up to Oliver, put his hands on the Keeper’s shoulders, and said very solemnly, “Tongue or no tongue?”
If Oliver doesn’t make it in Quidditch, I don’t think he’d have a problem getting on England’s Olympic track team. He also did a very impressive shrug-spin-dodge move, to escape from George, which may indicate he missed a calling to rugby as well. I had to purposely smash my foot into the door frame to keep from laughing, but I was worried it would start me vomiting.
The girls were still giggling when we got to the centre of the field. Oliver was already hovering in the air, well out of reach of the Weasleys, and shooting them suspicious looks.
4.14.2010
Apr 14
“It occurred to us, that perhaps we’d be better off without Snape in pursuit,” George said.
“So we made a few adjustments to the doors and windows of the lavatory before we left,” said Fred.
“We improved the faucets and drains as well.”
“Does anyone know if Snape can swim?”
“Does anyone care?” grunted Ron.
“So we made a few adjustments to the doors and windows of the lavatory before we left,” said Fred.
“We improved the faucets and drains as well.”
“Does anyone know if Snape can swim?”
“Does anyone care?” grunted Ron.
Apr 14
“There have been no further incidents with Mr. Malfoy?”
“I’ve killed him actually, and disposed of the body in last Thursday’s potpie.”
“I’ve killed him actually, and disposed of the body in last Thursday’s potpie.”
4.13.2010
Apr 13
I tried to think of what would be in such a case, and I was struck with the sudden suspicion that Sirius had decided I needed a Muggle rifle. The package was about the length of the gun Uncle Vernon had unsuccessfully attempted to frighten Hagrid with two years ago.
“What ever you’re thinking is way off,” Sirius said cheerfully. I hoped he was right.
“What ever you’re thinking is way off,” Sirius said cheerfully. I hoped he was right.
Apr 13
“I don’t know if I can top a Pooka, but I’ve got a few things for you kids too.”
“Pooka repellent?”
“Not quite.”
“Pooka repellent?”
“Not quite.”
4.12.2010
4.11.2010
Apr 11
“That’s the ugliest dog I’ve ever seen,” Malfoy said sneering, “Which end is the head?”
“The end that doesn’t look like your mother,” said Ron.
“The end that doesn’t look like your mother,” said Ron.
4.10.2010
Apr 10
Assuming I was dead and nothing could be done for me, the Minister attempted to find a good spin to put on the incident. I suppose he couldn’t find a way to make my dying in the middle of an argument with him reflect favourably. Rather then asking his secretary to summon healers, he continued to carry on his half of the conversation in a loud voice, while arranging for my body to be moved somewhere less scandalous. At some point in the chain of command, “move the body” was translated to “dispose of the body.”
4.09.2010
Apr 9
“Remus, would you fill in the gaps pertaining to your participation in last Saturday’s events?”
Lupin looked as if he would rather have shot himself in the foot. He spoke in a clear voice, but his eyes never left the floor.
Lupin looked as if he would rather have shot himself in the foot. He spoke in a clear voice, but his eyes never left the floor.
Apr 9
I blame Steve Irwin for what happened. Tackling a werewolf when you’re feeling healthy is a very bad idea, when you’re feeling ready to drop dead, it’s suicidal. That might be an oxymoron. My point is the Crocodile Hunter is a lunatic and should never be imitated.
4.08.2010
Apr 8
Half of the words coming out of Black’s mouth I didn’t even understand. I wasn’t sure if it was his being half strangled, or his cosmopolitan knowledge of profanity. I hoped I wasn’t that sheltered.
Apr 8
I was mad and exhausted, so it was hard to articulate what I meant. I started pointing my finger at him, as if that would clarify things.
4.07.2010
4.06.2010
Apr 6
“Here’s the thing,” I said. “Do you ever get the feeling that the second you turn your back, someone’s going to stab you, and then start thinking that maybe there is no point in trying to trust anyone, because how can you really understand what they’re thinking and then you realize that the world is built on a shaking tower of interconnected lies in which everyone participates, and the only chance you have at justice depends on the whims of compassionless, omnipotent fate?”
“No,” said Fred.
“One time. But then we put glue on all the toilet seats in the Prefect’s bathroom. Solved that crisis, spot on," said George.
“No,” said Fred.
“One time. But then we put glue on all the toilet seats in the Prefect’s bathroom. Solved that crisis, spot on," said George.
Apr 6
“Harry, there are some things that you would be indescribably happier not knowing.”
“I’d rather be alive and depressed then happily dead, Sir.”
“I’d rather be alive and depressed then happily dead, Sir.”
4.05.2010
Apr 5
To my friend Peter Pettigrew I bequeath my dictionary, so he may understand the word bequeath.
To my friend Remus Lupin I leave all my other books and the Black family home. Defile it in the manner you see fit. I recommend torching it for the insurance money.
To my godson Harry Potter, I leave my flying motorcycle, so that he may frighten his mother, and all my copies of Night Ladies Magazine, so that I might be a continuing bad influence from beyond the grave.
-From the Last Will and Testament of Sirius Orion Black
To my friend Remus Lupin I leave all my other books and the Black family home. Defile it in the manner you see fit. I recommend torching it for the insurance money.
To my godson Harry Potter, I leave my flying motorcycle, so that he may frighten his mother, and all my copies of Night Ladies Magazine, so that I might be a continuing bad influence from beyond the grave.
-From the Last Will and Testament of Sirius Orion Black
4.04.2010
Apr 4
“Now what do you see?”
I squinted and turned my head a bit to the side. “It looks like a fish, that’s exploded.”
The woman shuffled the card to the back of the pile. Her enchanted quill scribbled something down. I’m not very good at reading things upside down, but I’m pretty sure it was writing more then just “Exploded Fish”.
She pulled up the next card. It looked like a cat that had exploded. I told her so.
I squinted and turned my head a bit to the side. “It looks like a fish, that’s exploded.”
The woman shuffled the card to the back of the pile. Her enchanted quill scribbled something down. I’m not very good at reading things upside down, but I’m pretty sure it was writing more then just “Exploded Fish”.
She pulled up the next card. It looked like a cat that had exploded. I told her so.
Apr 4
“Stop…doing…that,” he said.
Maybe my punching was slightly effective. He seemed to be wheezing as he spoke.
“What?”
“Stop…trying to escape.”
And in another of my brilliant moves in this intricate game of chess, I said “No.”
Maybe my punching was slightly effective. He seemed to be wheezing as he spoke.
“What?”
“Stop…trying to escape.”
And in another of my brilliant moves in this intricate game of chess, I said “No.”
4.03.2010
Apr 3
They thought locking him in one of the dungeons was going to somehow make him less dangerous? Stupid, truly stupid. He was a Slytherin; didn’t that suggest that he, maybe, possibly, knew the secret passages in the area?
Apr 3
“Well, you could use a knife - it’s certainly one of the most traditional murder weapons...”
“Too much blood,” complained Fred.
“Spills everywhere and stains the furniture,” agreed George.
“Too much blood,” complained Fred.
“Spills everywhere and stains the furniture,” agreed George.
4.02.2010
Apr 2
“Molly will kill you when she finds out.”
“If she finds out, Harry. If she finds out.”
“She’ll find out,” Harry said with conviction, “and then she’ll kill you. And probably me as well, for helping you.”
“If she finds out, Harry. If she finds out.”
“She’ll find out,” Harry said with conviction, “and then she’ll kill you. And probably me as well, for helping you.”
Apr 2
“Remember this, Charlie: all women love sensitive guys—”
“—hence your consistent lack of female companionship.”
“—hence your consistent lack of female companionship.”
4.01.2010
Apr 1
“You lack a sense of scale. Allowing her to keep her ties to the human world will complicate things.”
“You lack a personality. Making it impossible for her to have any contact with humanity didn’t simplify anything.”
“You lack a personality. Making it impossible for her to have any contact with humanity didn’t simplify anything.”
Apr 1
On the whole, Hal Jordan, Agent of God’s Wrath, thought the Heavenly Court was just a bit full of itself.
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