Sept 30

“I could say you’ll get used to him. But it would be more accurate to say, you’ll get used to tolerating him.”

Sept 30

He hoped the delay was actual ‘mechanical difficulties’ and not just another way of saying ‘someone looked shifty so LAX is in lockdown’.

Sept 29

578.

Sept 28

“It was on sale. In retrospect, I should’ve wondered why.” She flounced on the cushion experimentally once or twice; it stubbornly refused to be comfortable. “I think my spine’s straightening. It’s either that, or breaking.”

Sept 28

He’d crawled around under the console, asking for tools she’d never heard of and swearing in a language she couldn’t understand.

Sept 27

577.

Sept 26

“I’m afraid to ask what it means. He’s probably going to try to explain it with several other sayings and proverbs which I’m likely not going to be able to understand either.”

Sept 26

“I was simply explaining to them that in some cultures a kiss showed you had the most honourable of intentions.”

“So that’s why that poncy Duke followed me around all night, demanding to show me he had ‘honourable intentions’.”

Sept 25

576.

Sept 24

“Say goodbye to your...” The alien seemed to stumble on the word. He looked to Shem. “Pentagon.”

Sept 24

“You’d be one of the clones, right?”

“There is only one Lex Luthor!” he said emphatically.

“Clone,” they nodded in unison.

Sept 23

575.

Sept 22

“Looks like it. Narrows it down to Chk’k’k’ftg or Vod.” He clicked his tongue for each of the k’ sounds in Chk’k’k’ftg.

“I’d go for Vod. I can pronounce that.”

Sept 22

“Could I have your autograph?”

“Provided you give me a lock of your hair and some nail clippings, so that I can return your spell threefold when you try to enchant me.”

Sept 21

574.

Sept 20

“He’s who he says he is. What he is I don’t know. What are they calling your outfit these days?”

“We’re a federal anti-terrorist task force. No name as such.”

Sept 20

“Hah! The vile excrement returns with more of his cow friends.” She turned and shouted over her shoulder. “Numfar! Do the dance of Shame!” Further down the trail a distant figure began to caper jerkily.

“They’re paying customers, mom.”

Lorne’s mother turned again and shouted “Numfar! The dance of Capitalist Supremacy.”

Sept 19

573.

Sept 18

“She’s had a rough time of it, and anyone making things harder for her will answer to me.”

“And after that, Fred and I will do things to them that Harry’s too nice to think of,” George added.

Sept 18

“This ponce is Voldemort?” Ron asked incredulously.

Sept 17

572.

Sept 16

“Are you in the basement again?”

“It’s a Cave, Mom. A subterranean fortified headquarters designed for the express purpose of fighting the criminal element.”

Sept 16

Then there was the formal tutorial, also conducted by Batman, or as she now affectionately referred to him: That Bastard.

Sept 15

571.

Sept 14

“We didn’t have time to stop and chat. Ron did spare him a gesture that clearly conveyed our sentiments.”

Sept 14

Farthing said the American Air Force had no right to interfere and no right to carry out police actions on British soil.
O’Neill pointed out that the cult members had attacked him.
Farthing insisted the prisoners be turned over to British authorities, since they had been proved, as Dr. Jackson pointed out, to be natives of England and not of some foreign planet.
O’Neill said their alien technology put them under SGC jurisdiction.
Farthing said to keep the technology and turn over the people.
O’Neill said it’s not going to happen.
Farthing demanded an interview with the prisoners at M15 headquarters.
O’Neill said the prisoners were being held in the U.S. embassy, and weren’t going anywhere.
Farthing made a derogatory comment about the U.S. Air Force.
O’Neill made a derogatory comment about Farthing’s mother.

Sept 13

570.

Sept 12

O’Neill struggled to remember his name; Halfpence, Shilling, Euro? It was some kind of money. He looked to Daniel, who mouthed “Farthing” at him as unobtrusively as possible.

Sept 12

“Faster than a speeding bullet? Don’t make me laugh! I can yawn fifty seven times in the time it takes for a bullet to leave the barrel! More powerful than a locomotive? Colossus can derail one of those without breaking a sweat! Able to leap tall buildings in a single bound? Give me a brea-”
Superman’s fist shot out, so fast that it didn’t even appear to move. One moment it was at his side. The next it was rigid and Quicksilver was clothes-lined on it. His eyes were wide and his body was practically doubled over Superman’s forearm.

The Man of Steel tossed him down. “No one ever said how much faster than a speeding bullet I am.”

Sept 11

569.

Sept 10

“You said it wasn’t that bad.”

“I said I’ve seen worse. There’s a difference.”

Sept 10

“But you have references.”

“No, I have Albert, which is me doing an important voice. ‘Mr. Harrison? An excellent tenant. And a very nice-looking fellow.’”

Sept 9

568.

Sept 8

“And you just accepted that? I only said that because I thought that’s what you wanted to hear.”

“That’s the funny thing about me, I tend to hear the actual words people say and accept them at face value.”

“That’s stupid.”

“I accept that.”

Sept 8

“If you want to criticize my methods, fine. But keep your snide remarks to yourself. And while you’re at it, don’t criticize my methods.”

Sept 7

567.

Sept 6

“Will you still make me waffles when we’re married?”

“No, I’ll only make them for myself, but by California law, you will own half of them.”

Sept 6

“No, the fact that you’re fat makes you look fat. That sweater just makes you look purple.”

Sept 5

566.

Sept 4

“He’s still on his cross-country-see-America thing. He said he wasn’t coming back until he had driven to all fifty states.”

“Did you explain about Hawaii?”

“Oh, he seemed so determined.”

Sept 4

“We all have flaws. I’m still a little fuzzy on exactly what yours is. I think it has to do with being a lying scumbag.”

Sept 3

565.

Sept 2

“As the soon-to-be-purple area on my jaw will attest, I did not “let” her go.”

Sept 2

“Trouble’s coming. There are some things I can just smell. It’s like a sixth sense.”

“No, actually, that would be one of the five.”

Sept 1

564.