Aug 31

“I’m naming the stars. But I’ve named them all the same name, and there’s terrible confusion.”

“You can’t see the stars, love. That’s the ceiling. Also it’s day.”

Aug 31

“Why don’t you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression.”

“Lacks... poetry.”

“Doesn’t have to. What rhymes with lungs?”

Aug 30

563.

Aug 29

“I know who you are.”

“Yeah, I know who I am too, so what?”

Aug 29

“Well, it’s not really the kind of message you tell. It sort of involves finding the bodies of all your friends.”

Aug 28

562.

Aug 27

“I knew it! I knew it! Well, not in the sense of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn’t know.”

Aug 27

“Let’s just say... I’m a friend.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I don’t want a friend.”

“I didn’t say I was yours.”

Aug 26

561.

Aug 25

Whoever said that flying a desk was cushier than getting shot at, and by “whoever” he meant “himself circa any year prior to 2004”, had clearly never heard the words fiscal summary.

Aug 25

“But this fellow’s hardly covering his tracks. Look, there,” he indicated a patch of grass that was, to Gwen’s eye, incredibly similar to every patch of grass in a 5 mile radius.

Aug 24

560.

Aug 23

“You know, humans successfully hunted prey for millennia without once using a pheromone scanner.”

Aug 23

“So Ianto says ‘Don’t look her in the eye, you’ll frighten her,’ and I say ‘I’ll frighten her?!’”

“Hang on,” Rose interrupted Jack’s latest instalment of 101 things not to do with a live Pterodactyl, “How did you know it was a girl?”

Aug 22

559.

Aug 21

“The new medication? Oh, that’s working great,” Daniel said with false enthusiasm. “Now I vomit blood.”

Aug 21

They were currently playing something called ‘Chicago Lowball’ with rules that they seemed to have made up and which only they understood. Despite the now numerous occasions on which Daniel had been dragged into playing with them he was no wiser about what he was supposed to be trying to achieve. Every time he’d thought he’d lost he’d been handed a Snickers bar and every time he thought he’d finally accumulated a decent hand he was told ‘better luck next time’ and denied his sip of whiskey.

Aug 20

558.

Aug 19

“Just tell me what I need to know to use it. Not what I need to build a new one from scratch out of my cellphone and a car battery.”

Aug 19

“I have no problem with that. Especially as I don’t know about it. Because I never saw this and we never had this conversation.”

Aug 18

557.

Aug 17

“I cannot translate his words. Or more accurately, I will not translate his words. They are very rude.”

Aug 17

The first, second, and third things that went through Darien’s mind were, “Ow,” “Ow,” and “Ow.” In that order. The fourth one was, “What the fuck?!” And the fifth one was, “Ow.”

Aug 16

556.

Aug 15

“Think about it this way, would you let some cop fly a plane through rough weather if there was already a perfectly good pilot in the cockpit?”

“Would I be in the plane at the time?”

Aug 15

“What do you mean, drugged? With what?”

“With drugs, obviously,”

Aug 14

555.

Aug 13

“They’d believe we could kill a god and still try to kill us?”

“Panic and logic are mutually exclusive.

Aug 13

“Are you really here... or is this just the drugs talking?”

“Drugs talk?”

Aug 12

554.

Aug 11

“Lets go over something, Daniel- what is rule number one of going on a mission with another team?”

Daniel sighs and rolls his eyes. “Don’t get injured, kidnapped, killed, brainwashed, copied, or married,” he says dutifully.

Aug 11

“Your use of the past tense fills me with foreboding.”

Aug 10

553.

Aug 9

Daniel kicked him under the table and wrote STOP LOOKING AT ME in large, very pointed letters on his pad.

Aug 9

“Teal’c, any particular reason you borrowed ‘The Craft’ from Cassie and stole ‘Magic, Witchcraft, and Religion: An Anthropological Study of the Supernatural’ out of my office earlier today? ‘Cos I have to say it’s starting to look a little suspicious.”

Aug 8

552.

Aug 7

“If your initial presumption of Slavic or Germanic origins is correct, it’s likely that it’s either a traditional name of a hereditary type or perhaps has ties with any number of mythological tales or examples of oral history. Most names - taking into account, again, the presumption that it’s European in origin - have their origins in the Latin or the Bible, calling on Biblical characters or Latin root words to confer upon the recipient of the name a measure of strength or virility, or some other characteristic which the ancestors believed had some importance or would confer a favourable advantage onto its recipient. It is always possible, however, that it came not from such traditional venues but from somewhere a little more eclectic, like an ancient clan name or region or... I’m sorry, what was the question again?”

“I’m sure I knew when I asked, but that incredibly unhelpful - and yet unending - stream of utterly useless information has completely wiped it from my brain.”

Aug 7

“He’s rich. He smells like what I think Pierce Brosnan smells like. And if you don’t know why that’s awesome you need awesome lessons.”

Aug 6

551.

Aug 5

“I believe the phrase was ‘you go straight to hell, you miserable old penguin.’ That was the end of Catholic school for Jack.”

Aug 5

“As you have no doubt observed, DeeDee is blissfully free of the ravages of intelligence. I am certain that the two of you will get along just fine.”

Aug 4

550.

Aug 3

“You know perfectly well I was under the impression I was taping a game. Imagine my surprise when- what did I actually get, Daniel?”

A small voice, addressed to a spot somewhere over Jack’s left shoulder, confessed, “The migration of flamingos across the salt flats of Namibia. You did get to see quite a lot of the game. I hadn’t accidentally taped over the whole thing! You enjoyed the documentary.”

Jack hooted, “I did not. I amiably tolerated it for your sake. Once the shock had worn off, and I’d broken out my Glen Livet. Then the Glenmorangie. Then the Glen Farclas - covered more Glens in two hours than a map of Scotland.”

“It was dramatic footage. That little flamingo, with the salt crust round it’s foot, falling farther and farther behind - you were mesmerised.”

“I was paralysed with boredom.” Jack said firmly.

“You did a fist pump when the film crew went back and saved the little flamingo. I distinctly remember that. It being after the end credits and all.”

That was, regrettably, true. Jack said defiantly, “I was stoned on cooking sherry by that point, out of sheer desperation.”

Daniel gave him a sad little shake of the head and murmured gently, “You’ve still got the tape, Jack.”

Aug 3

“It’s you,” he observed, sounding as delighted as a man who was mostly asleep could manage.

Aug 2

549.

Aug 1

Teal’c had said it meant fated. Daniel had been more forthcoming and admitted it meant doomed.

Aug 1

“You operational, Carter?”

“Not if you expect me to shoot anything,” she replied bluntly.
“Or walk,” she added honestly.
“Or blow anything up. Saving the world from the forces of darkness would be difficult too, Sir,” she admitted.